The following statements and actions are common things abusers say and do.

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If a guy says he’ll do anything for you and then calls late at night and begs you to come over, claiming to be too tired to make the drive over to your place, then he has a very loose definition of !

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This is hard for most women to understand because women can switch from one task to the next and back again with much more ease.

We get a lot of questions that go something like: “I’m really confused, my boyfriend says he’s crazy about me and I’m the most amazing/wonderful/smart/funny/etc girl he’s ever dated but he always blows me off and he can’t hang out and doesn’t have time to talk on the phone or text back or take me out on dates and I really only see him late at night when he feels like it.” OK, maybe not exactly like that, but close enough.

I don’t know what the biggest relationship concern was back in the days of touch-tone phones, but these days, it’s all about a guy’s texting habits: why he used to text so much in the beginning and then stopped, why he takes so long to reply, why he disappears for days at a time, why his texts are so short, etc., etc.

The really sad/funny thing is that men have NO idea how intensely their texting habits are being scrutinized.

The opposite is also true: a guy may be saying something with his words and instead, express how he’s feeling through actions.

For instance, let’s say a woman is in a truly amazing relationship and the only problem is her man has yet to say those three not-so-little words.Whether abusers say and do these things knowingly or unconsciously, the result is the same: you feel lower than dirt, afraid and intimidated.In your weakened state, your abuser finds it much easier to gain power over you.It wasn’t an easy process, but I eventually reached a point where it all made sense and all my questions and confusions suddenly evaporated.Fortunately, I’m not the selfish type and am more than happy to share everything I’ve learned.I have been writing about relationships for a while now and over the years I have noticed some prominent points of confusion, ones that seem to be shared by women of all ages from all around the world (no exaggeration).