Triangles exist simply because a problem is not being resolved in a marriage.Two people get married and have marital problems, instead of resolving those problems either by fixing the relationship or ending it, which by the way can be a valid resolution of a problem, a third party is brought into the relationship, and now you have a triangle.Usually at the beginning of such an arrangement, when the triangle is young so to speak, the ‘other man’ usually tells himself he likes this arrangement because he doesn’t have to make a commitment.

If the ‘other man’ gets attached he will inevitably at some point start needing more from the married woman. My heart goes out to him more than any one else in this arrangement because he is usually the one who gets disturbed first and has more to lose.

He may start thinking about asking her to leave her husband. He could be thrown out of the triangle and the married couple could end up fixing their relationship, this could happen.

I know the storybooks tell us that it’s better to stay together.

But I think there are plenty of people who never should have gotten together to begin with.

He thinks that loving someone else’s woman will save him from this fear of intimacy. In my mind, this is an opportunity for growth because triangles are not good for people.

But for the ‘other man’ this is a painful transition from an illusory relationship with a married woman in a triangle with a married man to a period of being alone again where some serious work can be done on his love life (if he’s up for it).

Too many pieces for stability what you get instead is fragmentation, conflict, and limited intimacy.

So let’s look at the type of triangle that has one woman and two men in it.

Anyway, the married man like his supposed competition is afraid of a deeper intimacy as well. His willingness to live in a limited marital relationship thinly disguises this fear of deeper love and intimacy.