Parenting on dating
Our children should know that we are going out to enjoy time with other adults but they do not need to know anything about who we date early on.
We need to spend time separate from our children getting to know those we are dating.
To go yet another step forward and even consider a new relationship seems like a risk too great and too self absorbed to indulge in.
These fears are difficult to overcome for some single dads.
After creating these new, safe, predictable spaces in which their kids can navigate the changes of divorce, dads may be very hesitant to meet their own needs socially or sexually. This is because they fear disrupting these safe spaces and rhythms in any way.2) Remember, these dads are already carrying the burden of their choice to divorce, a decision which many may have already told him is a “selfish” act.
The shaming around divorce in our culture is epidemic.
♦◊♦Any co-parenting dad who is taking care of his kids, is going to have the days when they are “on duty” and the days when they are “off duty.” And if you are considering a relationship with a co-parenting dad, you should know that these two modes of being are very different.1) The on-duty co-parenting dad can be an “all business” kind of fellow. For any of us, being around a single dad when they are with their little ones, can feel like being on the outside looking in.
But this is out of necessity, as parenting after divorce is about creating regular predictable rituals and rhythms for children.
But that’s the journey anyone who is divorced must go through.
Its just that single parents have extra passengers.3) But a co-parenting dad is also in a powerful learning mode.
It is a precarious place to be initially, and newly single dads often see caring for their children as the clear and present through-line amidst the chaos of divorce and change.