Scientists have found that oxytocin (a bonding hormone) is released during the initial stage of infatuation – which causes couples to feel euphoric and turned on by physical affection – such as touching and holding hands.

Oxytocin works like a drug, giving us immediate rewards and binding us to our lover.

It all feels pretty exhausting and I’m not sure it’s worth it.

“Most sexual concerns stem from an interpersonal struggle in the marriage,” writes sex therapist Laurie Watson, author of Wanting Sex Again: How to Rediscover Your Desire and Heal a Sexless Marriage. John Gottman of the University of Washington and The Gottman Institute, a distinguished observer of marital relations, believes that the tendency of men to withdraw and women to pursue is wired into our physiology and reflects a basic gender difference.

She describes the tug-of-war between being too close and too distant from a partner as a repetitive pattern of one person being the pursuer and another being the distancer. In his classic “Love Lab” observations he’s noted that this pattern is extremely common and is a major contributor to marital breakdown.

By Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW Dear Terry, I’ve been married to Bruce for eight years and I’m worried because we’ve lost the passion and excitement we used to have.

It seems like there’s something missing in our relationship and I don’t know how to get it back.

During the early phase of marriage, many couples barely come up for air due to the excitement of falling in love.

Unfortunately, this blissful state doesn’t last forever.He also warns us that if it’s not examined, the pursuer-distancer pattern will persist into a second marriage or subsequent intimate relationships.Let’s face it, when we fall in love and commit to someone, we have high hopes that we’ll feel blissful and excited by him or her indefinitely.Marshall answers the question: Is it possible to fall back in love?He explains that Limerence is the early phase of falling in love characterized by elation and passion.When Bruce tries to initiate sex, I pull away because I just don’t feel attracted to him anymore.