Most of the women the site matched me with wouldn’t risk even a simple online chat with me.Meanwhile, more and more of my friends were getting engaged, more and more of them started families, and I had never dated anyone for more than a few weeks. If Jewish women weren’t attracted to me, I’d go find women who were.By the time I graduated, I’d still never been in anything approaching a serious relationship. She lived in New Hampshire, shared all of my nerdy hobbies, had a great sense of humor, and looked like a younger blonde version of geek icon Gillian Anderson from .

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I went to a Christmas at her family’s house and it felt less ritualistic than family’s Christmas Eve Chinese-food-and-a-movie tradition.

Even as our relationship became more serious, I did not want to push her to convert, yet I kept hoping she would become interested in the religion on her own.

One of my dates somehow managed to steer every discussion, no matter how unrelated, to the topic of cheesecake.

Another had no discernible personality or strong feelings about anything, leading to a date in which I she responded to everything I had to say with an affectless “yeah” or “uh huh.” But it wasn’t all their fault: I can’t say that I created the most enticing profile.

In high school, this decision proved to be mostly moot. I tried not to follow up on them at first, but I was frustrated and lonely and had finite willpower.

After one date, though, I would beat myself up mentally for breaking my rule, and I’d avoid making second dates.

By the end of the weekend, we were officially dating.

*** Judaism is and always has been at the core of my identity.

On the other hand, my grandmother on my mother’s side was actively rooting for us as a couple and was the first person to predict that we would get married.