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When he was 18 he had a choice: Attend a Mormon school—Ricks College in Rexburg, Idaho—or “If not, then I will start pursuing relationships with men.”The 35-year-old father of four daughters carries himself like a jovial stand-up comedian—Drew Carey, say—cracking jokes as frequently in person as he does on his blog, The Weed.His most notable physical trait is his left eye, which is legally blind and makes him look, as he once described it, “like I’m recovering from a concussion and a hangover and a bee-sting to the pupil all at once.”He’s a colorful frontman for the Mormon mixed-orientation movement, and the closest it has to a pioneer.The basement we chatted in is a sort of rec room for the thirtysomething fans of ’60s psychedelic rock; along with The Doors, posters of the Grateful Dead and the Beatles cover the walls.
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Weed became the subject of international fascination when he published a blog post in 2012: “Not only am I homosexual, but I’m also a devout and believing Mormon…I’m very happily married to a woman, and have been for ten years now.”Written as an FAQ, the post revealed Weed’s coming-out story: how his father, a leader in the church, took the news of his 13-year-old son being homosexual remarkably well, and how Josh’s wife Lolly, a childhood friend, did too.
In the post, he answered the question everyone had: He has sex exclusively with his wife. But the lack of sexual attraction he has for Lolly means they must rely more heavily on communication.
The way he describes it, it’s sex not based on physical attraction but on a deep spiritual connection, unfettered by biology, and “the powerful chemicals of infatuation and obsession that usually bring a couple together.”To be clear, Weed’s not bisexual. “This has resulted in us having a better sex life than most people I personally know,” he wrote. Go fig.”Anticipating his audience’s deep skepticism—the skepticism I and nearly everyone who hears of openly gay men married to women shares—he concluded: “All of these things are true, whether your mind is allowing you to believe them or not.”An excerpt of the piece was reposted by Gawker and read by more than 100,000 people.
The couple went on ABC’s Nightline and an episode of VH1’s I’m Married to a…
Hardly a salacious gesture, not even for a conservative American family like the Caldwells. “Want” isn’t the term he’d use; it’s more like his body desires it. Its signees, or amici, all hail from “mixed-orientation” marriages: same-sex-attracted men married to straight women.
Two jagged syllables that seemed to gouge at her chest.Now they’re in the spotlight again: Their names surfaced in the amicus brief supporting its central argument, in the form of excerpts from a video essay the Weeds recorded for LDSVoices Of When we spoke Weed wanted to make two things clear.Virtually all have children, all seemingly models of traditional family values.Of all the amici I contacted, only Danny and Erin Caldwell agreed to a sit-down interview.At issue in the pending Supreme Court ruling is whether the 14th Amendment, ratified in 1868 to guarantee equal protections, bans states from treating gay and straight couples differently.