And the reason was simple: I was terrible at dating.

And the reason for that was simple, too: at the age when everyone else was learning how to date, I was extremely closeted.

advice dating sensible-8

She has a cat named after Piper Halliwell from Charmed, and her go-to karaoke song is "Everywhere" by Michelle Branch.

You see, I've always had this two year rule in my mind for how long I want to date someone before we get married. After twenty-four months together, you usually know whether your partner is someone you could really commit to—forever.

But what exactly is transpiring in this time that either confirms or disproves compatibility? Especially as our notions of dating practices change (thanks, Tinder), and we consistently hear about the supposed 50 percent divorce rate, I think we all wonder if there's some definitive rule book we be following.

I did some digging and reached out to relationship therapists and psychologists to get their thoughts.

If nothing else, this tactic at least led to some comedy. It is very important to be totally upfront with matches about your interests, even if those interests are slightly embarrassing or otherwise chip away at the very cool and sexy exterior of your Tinder profile.

There’s nothing wrong with being a little earnest and a little goofy.New York Times Bestseller The only self-help book you'll ever need, from a psychiatrist and his comedy writer daughter, who will help you put aside your unrealistic wishes, stop trying to change things you can't change, and do the best with what you can control--the first steps to managing all of life's impossible problems.Before I met my current girlfriend, I decided to master Tinder. I didn’t necessarily want to win Tinder, but I did want to be good at it.And there’s nothing more earnest or goofy than the Grey’s Anatomy musical episode and my unironic love for it.Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is a Brooklyn-based writer, television critic, and comedian who spends most of her time over-analyzing queer subtext on television, singing "Take Me Or Leave Me" in public places, and assembling cheese platters. Tinder can be exhausting, and my relationship with it was extremely love/hate. And none of it would have happened if I hadn’t dived into the part of Tinder that can be the most anxiety-inducing: sending the first message. You’ve both expressed interest on a very surface level. One time, a girl gave a complete answer with reasons and everything… At some point, I decided this was a perfectly reasonable question to ask people I was trying to make out with.